If you’re like most busy moms you haven’t slept through the night since you found out you were pregnant. And as your kids get older and life gets busier, the idea of more sleep seems like only a daydream. Before you lose any more sleep, GeoParent explains why you are missing out on needed sleep and how to go about getting it.

By Tracy B. McGinnis

A new book out by Julie Bain and Ellen Michaud titled, Sleep to be Sexy, Smart and Slim, suggests women have a lot to lose and gain when it comes to getting enough uninterrupted shut-eye.

The authors site hormonal fluctuations and the demanding role women face at home and at work as culprits to not getting enough sleep. Surveys like that of the National Sleep Foundation confirm we are not getting enough sleep with results showing that more than 60 percent of the women polled experience a sleep problem three or more nights a week, while 33 percent report a sleep problem every single night.

Women have a lot to lose both physically and mentally when it comes to not getting enough Z’s. A lack of sleep has been associated with medical problems including: high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and depression, to name a few, and as Bain and Michaud point out, a decreased sex drive.

The book offers these sleep suggestions:

• Lower your expectations - in other words, everything doesn’t need to be perfect.
• Have younger children sleep independently - teach your kids how to get to sleep on their own so you can get a good nights rest.
• Get toddlers and preschoolers to bed by 7:30, preteens to bed by 8:30, teens to bed by 9PM.
• Establish bedtime routines
• Get yourself to bed by 11PM - leave what’s not done until the next day.

Get Sleep. Get Physical.
According to the 2008 Better Sleep Month (BSM) national survey, sponsored by the Better Sleep Council, “those respondents getting nine hours of sleep or more are more likely to engage in higher-intensity workouts, including biking, running and/or weight lifting.”

The BSC offers these 8 tips to get a better night’s sleep:

1. Maintain a regular bed and wake time schedule, including weekends.
2. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine, such as soaking in a hot bath or hot tub and then reading a book or listening to soothing music.
3. Create a sleep-conducive environment that is dark, quiet, comfortable and cool.
4. Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillow.
5. Use your bedroom only for sleep and sex. It is best to take work
materials, computers and televisions out of the sleeping environment.
6. Finish eating at least two to three hours before your regular bedtime.
7. Exercise regularly. It is ideal to complete your workout at least a few hours before bedtime.
8. Avoid alcohol, nicotine (e.g., cigarettes, tobacco products), and caffeine (e.g., coffee, tea, soft drinks, chocolate) close to bedtime. These can lead to poor sleep, keep you awake or disrupt sleep later in the night.

A Bed Routine Is Not Just For Kids
Dr. Susan Grober of the Pritikin Longevity Center and Spa agrees that establishing a bed time routine is key to getting a good night’s sleep. “At least an hour before you want to sleep, make a list of everything you have to do and everything on your mind. To be most effective, it should include mundane tasks like picking up the cleaning and any projects/activities you’ve been thinking of such as sorting your photos online or in albums,” suggests Grober.

“This clears your mind of all the mental clutter and makes room, instead, for peaceful relaxing thoughts.” Grober says to pick a relaxation technique that works for you and spend time before bed doing something that’s relaxing and not over stimulating or upsetting.

“If you read, pick a novel that you’re enjoying, or a magazine, rather than a self-improvement book. Or if you choose to watch TV, don’t watch the news!”

Dr. Aparajitha Verma is medical director of the Sleep Disorders Center at The Methodist Hospital in Houston, Texas suggests avoiding T.V., reading or eating in bed. “Limit time in bed to sleeping,” says Verma. Among Verma’s other tips, “Follow a regular bed and wake time and reduce or try to avoid caffeine, alcohol and nicotine ideally at least 6 hours before bed time.” Verma says it’s a good idea to wind-down about half-hour before going to bed and to avoid any stressful activities before sleep.

Sheila Cluff, “Grandmother of Aerobics”, and founder of the Oaks at Ojai, is a grandmother and mother and has first-hand experience when it comes to not getting enough sleep. Cluff recognizes that moms taking care of their kids forget about taking care of themselves in the process.

Cluff says creating a sleep routine is key. “Every night before bed, go through the same steps, even a few hours before you climb between the covers. After a few weeks of whatever ritual you choose, your body will understand the signal for sleep. Consider a soothing book, calming music, herbal sleep pillows, cooling sleep eye masks or herbal tea to get started.”

Stop The Clock
Grober also suggests not being a clock watcher. “Women today are so busy with careers, relationships, and family, that they keep one eye on our watch no matter what they’re doing.”

Grober says this habit doesn’t stop when women get to bed and will sabotage your sleep, but she adds the solution is simple. “Take off your watch and turn the clock next to your bed away from you so that you can’t see the time. If you’re checking the time every minute, you’re creating stress for yourself. Every time you open your eyes and see you’ve spent another ½ hour tossing and turning, you start thinking anxious thoughts which keep you up even longer.”

Get Up and Get To Sleep
Grober also likes the fifteen minute rule. “If you’re in bed and you haven’t fallen asleep in fifteen minutes, get up and go into another room,” she says. “Read, watch TV, even clean out a drawer or your closet and when you start feeling sleepy, get back into bed.” Grober says to repeat this until you’re asleep. “You will learn to associate bed with rest and sleep, not with sleepless nights and the worries that come with them. This strategy distracts you from the negative, irrational thoughts that accompany sleep difficulties.”

Read More:

• Sleep, or Lack Thereof
• Confessions of a Ferberizer
• Easing the transition from the family bed

Figuring out how to pay for everything you need for that new member of your family can be a daunting task at any time, but couple that with rising fuel costs, an uncertain economy, falling housing prices, and rising food costs, and it might seem impossible to figure out a family financial plan that works. To help you better plan for your future, GeoParent gathered up the top family finance experts to help you budget, save and spend like a pro.

By Tracy McGinnis

Ethan Ewing, President of Bills.com advises stay-at-home moms to not hand over all of the financial power. “Women who stay at home after having a baby should continue to know about (and share) their credit history with their spouses. Married women should also keep a credit card in their name to maintain good credit.”

Here are more tips from Ewing for getting your family finances in order:

• Make savings a priority. “Include in the budget a line item expense for savings.” Sites like Bills.com offer budget guides.
• Emergency Fund. “Conventional wisdom says you need 3-6 months worth of living expenses in an emergency fund, but a 2005 survey found 41% of Americans had no fund at all.”
• Self Billing. “Treat savings as self-billing and it’ll be done easily; in a short period of time, most people get used to it and don’t even realize they’re saving.” Ewing suggests setting up an automatic withdrawal into your savings account or recording it like a bill.
• Save Like a Pro. “Consider a money market or short-term CDs. The strategy will provide some interest earnings and force you to constantly reinvest.”
• Spend With Cash. “Start handing over old-fashioned bills for your routine expenditures. People who don’t use debit or credit cards are less likely to throw that extra item into the shopping cart.”
• Be a Smart Gift Shopper. “List the recipients for whom you plan to give a gift throughout the year. Most people are surprised to see how many gifts they buy in a year. Keep an eye out for sales to buy online to avoid impulse purchases at the mall.”
• Learn About Your Utilities. “Turn down the furnace at night and think about a programmable thermostat. Unplug appliances that aren’t being used, go fluorescent, and avoid running your dryer for long periods of time.”

“Yes, it’s important to start saving at some point,” but Brette Sember, author of several books including, Your Practical Pregnancy Planner, says don’t sacrifice everything for a college savings plan. “College loans are a beautiful thing, however there’s no such thing as a retirement loan.” Sember also suggests creating a new budget for your family and learning about what things cost. “Find out how much formula and diapers cost and factor in the cost of child care and the possible loss of income so you can take a hard look at your expenses.”

Dan McCarty, CRC, Financial Advisor with William Tell Financial Services in Latham, NY, gives these tips on saving for college, including why a 529 college savings plans is the way to go.

• Tax Deferral. “Any time you can postpone pay tax is helpful. Parents can shelter funds and when they are accessed to pay for higher education, they’re taxed at the child’s lower rate.”
• Flexibility. “529 plans can be used at any accredited college, junior college, vocational or trade school in the country and some foreign schools.”
• Control. “529’s must be used for higher education. If they’re not, the money can be transferred penalty-free to another child who wishes to further their education.” To learn more visit sites like www.collegeboard.com.

Upromise is another way people may choose to save for college. By logging on to www.upromise.com you can register your debit, credit, grocery and gift cards and earn a percentage back (up to 25%) for college. The company also helps registered members transfer their savings into a 529 plans. The company says they currently have 8.5 million members, with 23,000 grocery and drug stores, 14,000 gas stations, 8,000 restaurants, thousands or retail stores and close to 600 online shopping sites participating.

David Rochon, Upromise President says, “Upromise is a great way to save on purchases you’re already planning to make. Whether you’re filling up your gas tank at Exxon/Mobil (earn 1%), picking up groceries at the local supermarket (earn 1-5%), buying a gift for your nephew’s graduation at Brookstone (earn 4%) or ordering a parenting magazine at Magazines.com (earn 25%), it’s a great way to get started on saving for college.”

“Create monthly and long-term budgets,” Peter Miralles, President of Atlanta Wealth Management Consultants advises. “Budgets must include line items for retirement and children’s education.” The most important part of family financing is making a budget and sticking to it. “People must live within their budget or all other planning may fail,” Miralles says.

Read More:

• Saving for college
• How to save thousands on baby gear
• How to have some money at the end of your month

By Brie Gatchalian

There are many factors that contribute to a lackluster sex life. Whether it is caring for your children, a hectic job or all of the above, it is easy to put your relationship with your spouse at the bottom of the to-do list. Medical conditions, such as snoring, can also put a dent in your “spicy” relationship with your partner. According to a recent study conducted by the Sleep Disorders Center at Rush University Medical Center, sleep apnea (snoring) impacts a non-snoring partner’s quality of sleep, which then leads to couple marital dissatisfaction. In fact, the snoring woe has been cited as the cause for some divorces in the country. What’s one couple to do? While there’s no easy solution for snoring—not to mention other marital dysfunctions—there are simple ways to keep the love alive. Read on for the ingredients to a spicy marriage.

Communicate Daily
Don’t forget to communicate your inner most thoughts and desires to your partner. Whether it’s having a simple discussion on chores, a quick “I love you,” or dirty talk (a glass of wine helps), sometimes spelling out your feelings can entice and excite your spouse.

Have Separate Girls/Boys Nights Once a Month
I asked a handful of happily married couples how they keep their marriage hot and most of them said they keep their social lives alive. It’s easy to get caught up in your marriage (especially if you have children and so many other obligations,) but it’s also important to have a night away from your spouse. Doing a separate girls/boys night can do the trick. You’ll be able to catch up with friends, as well as have an opportunity to miss each other.

Flirt Whenever Possible
Remember when you first met your husband? Remember what life was like before the kids? I bet you two would flirt a lot with each other. Oh, how exciting! It’s easy to forget what attracted you to your lover in the first place, but bring yourself back to the early days when flirting was a hobby. Give your husband a wink or a squeeze in the butt—it can be both flattering and nostalgic.

Use Lubricant as Necessary
Changes in sexual drive can be contributed to a number of factors including age, stress, hormonal changes due to breastfeeding and that not-so-fun postpartum period. Employing a lubricant can be both useful and enjoyable. While some couples are reluctant to add the enhancer to their bedroom activities—out of fear of offending their partner—it can help spice things up. For instance, the new K-Y Brand YOURS+MINE (available at drugstores now), the first intimacy-enhancing product designed specifically with couples in mind, is a great, new revolutionary way to thrill sensations for you and your husband. Each invokes a different sensation when applied, and when combined, both users are in for an even more exhilarating experience.

Play Games Occasionally
I’m not talking about the games people play when they’re dating. I’m talking about putting the fun back into a marriage with board-game playing. It may sound like child’s play, but a game like Embrace (available at copulus.com), a sensually stimulating board game for lovers, can be just the thing to remind you and your partner what makes you a hot couple. As players move about the board revealing sensuous thoughts and feelings, as well as performing erotic challenges, this game can also accomplish the previously mentioned flirting and communication ingredients.

Respect Always
Beyond simple acts in the bedroom, it’s also important to take advantage of day-to-day acts of respect. As with the notorious snoring situation, other issues couples face are the seat-up vs. seat-down argument, moodiness, and bickering. It’s important to refrain from engaging in a “nothing fight” (that’s the kind of fight that shouldn’t be a big deal but becomes one for no reason). Remember to always respect your partner. Random acts of kindness and understanding will keep the bitterness out of the bedroom.

Read More:

• 10 tips for better sex
• Restart your sex drive
• How lazy parents make happier kids and stronger marriages

• he is five or more years younger than you are.
• he is five or more years younger than your oldest child.
• he makes you feel 10 years younger.
• you make him feel 10 years younger.
• he lets you make most of the financial decisions…
• most of the finances are yours.
• he makes you laugh.
• you make him laugh.
• he’s the best thing that ever happened to you.

– Celeste Gish

Read more: In praise of “trophy husbands”

Celeste Gish

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, defines “trophy wife” as “an attractive, young wife married to a usually older, affluent man.” Curiously, there is no entry for “trophy husband.”

In the name of equal rights I think the time has come to define, accept and embrace – so to speak – the concept. Currently, the U.S. Census reports that 12 percent of American marriages involve a husband who is two or more years younger, and 15 percent of wives out-earn their husbands by $5,000 or more. Among my own friends, a couple of long-standing love matches where the wife is the primary breadwinner and the husband is a younger hunk come to mind.

Unlike the pejorative “trophy wife” with its connotations of gold-digging Twinkies who lunch, shop and otherwise conspicuously consume, the trophy husband is a product of a generation brought up to value and respect strong women, probably starting with his mother. He has somehow evolved beyond the ancient biology that hard-wires most men to rabidly pursue the eternal 25-year-old, presumably to ensure the survival of our species. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the human race is in very little danger of dying out these days.

Times change
Let’s review history. In the beginning, we females needed strong (cave) men who could go out and bring home the mastodon so we could stay home, keep the cave neat, procreate and nurture our young. Eons passed, and mastodons became extinct. Factories and offices were invented, and men continued to be the providers, leveraging their good names, education and earning ability into snagging the best females.

Fast-forward to the twentieth century. Women got the vote, men marched off to wars, women entered the workforce, someone invented the washing machine, and next thing you know, men were no longer in complete control. Slowly but surely, women’s roles in households and the world at large shifted. And now, with the advent of online dating and Botox, men of all ages are beginning to appreciate older women for their emotional maturity, sexual confidence and financial stability.

And it’s about time. Outmoded notions that husbands must be older and richer than their wives limit both women and men, and keep people from meeting their best match. Traditional gender roles have kept women from realizing their full potential and they’ve limited men’s lives, too.

Recently, my sister described my spouse as a trophy husband. Not that anyone would ever confuse us with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, but it gave me something to think about. My first thought was, you know you’re getting up there in age when a 48-year-old husband is considered a “trophy.” Then I went on to consider: he’s seven years younger than I am; he has always been attracted to “mature” women; and he is a hunk. (OK, I may be a little prejudiced.)

So what is our definition of “trophy husband”? Based on my experience, I’d say, he’s mature, whether he’s 25 or 55. He’s committed to a long-term relationship. He loves you, respects you and treats you like you’re the best thing that ever happened to him. And he’s the best thing that ever happened to you.

Read more: You may have a trophy husband if…

Celeste Gish is a freelance writer based in the Savannah area. Her work has been published in ABA Bank Marketing, Atlanta Journal & Constitution, Health Management Technology, Advance for Health Information Professionals, Realty Success and other professional journals.