Ingredients for a spicy marriage - even with kids in the mix
By Brie Gatchalian
There are many factors that contribute to a lackluster sex life. Whether it is caring for your children, a hectic job or all of the above, it is easy to put your relationship with your spouse at the bottom of the to-do list. Medical conditions, such as snoring, can also put a dent in your “spicy” relationship with your partner. According to a recent study conducted by the Sleep Disorders Center at Rush University Medical Center, sleep apnea (snoring) impacts a non-snoring partner’s quality of sleep, which then leads to couple marital dissatisfaction. In fact, the snoring woe has been cited as the cause for some divorces in the country. What’s one couple to do? While there’s no easy solution for snoring—not to mention other marital dysfunctions—there are simple ways to keep the love alive. Read on for the ingredients to a spicy marriage.
Communicate Daily
Don’t forget to communicate your inner most thoughts and desires to your partner. Whether it’s having a simple discussion on chores, a quick “I love you,” or dirty talk (a glass of wine helps), sometimes spelling out your feelings can entice and excite your spouse.
Have Separate Girls/Boys Nights Once a Month
I asked a handful of happily married couples how they keep their marriage hot and most of them said they keep their social lives alive. It’s easy to get caught up in your marriage (especially if you have children and so many other obligations,) but it’s also important to have a night away from your spouse. Doing a separate girls/boys night can do the trick. You’ll be able to catch up with friends, as well as have an opportunity to miss each other.
Flirt Whenever Possible
Remember when you first met your husband? Remember what life was like before the kids? I bet you two would flirt a lot with each other. Oh, how exciting! It’s easy to forget what attracted you to your lover in the first place, but bring yourself back to the early days when flirting was a hobby. Give your husband a wink or a squeeze in the butt—it can be both flattering and nostalgic.
Use Lubricant as Necessary
Changes in sexual drive can be contributed to a number of factors including age, stress, hormonal changes due to breastfeeding and that not-so-fun postpartum period. Employing a lubricant can be both useful and enjoyable. While some couples are reluctant to add the enhancer to their bedroom activities—out of fear of offending their partner—it can help spice things up. For instance, the new K-Y Brand YOURS+MINE (available at drugstores now), the first intimacy-enhancing product designed specifically with couples in mind, is a great, new revolutionary way to thrill sensations for you and your husband. Each invokes a different sensation when applied, and when combined, both users are in for an even more exhilarating experience.
Play Games Occasionally
I’m not talking about the games people play when they’re dating. I’m talking about putting the fun back into a marriage with board-game playing. It may sound like child’s play, but a game like Embrace (available at copulus.com), a sensually stimulating board game for lovers, can be just the thing to remind you and your partner what makes you a hot couple. As players move about the board revealing sensuous thoughts and feelings, as well as performing erotic challenges, this game can also accomplish the previously mentioned flirting and communication ingredients.
Respect Always
Beyond simple acts in the bedroom, it’s also important to take advantage of day-to-day acts of respect. As with the notorious snoring situation, other issues couples face are the seat-up vs. seat-down argument, moodiness, and bickering. It’s important to refrain from engaging in a “nothing fight” (that’s the kind of fight that shouldn’t be a big deal but becomes one for no reason). Remember to always respect your partner. Random acts of kindness and understanding will keep the bitterness out of the bedroom.
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