Comments on: Adopt a resilient attitude http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/ Check in for the latest parenting advice, developmental milestones and kid activities Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:01:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Elisabeth Ellis http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-49 Elisabeth Ellis Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:04:55 +0000 http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-49 Resilience is key. We should try not be put off by inappropriate questions. The questioner is articulating what others are thinking. Keep a positive attitude and give a good answer/ explanation. It can help the questioner understand adoption. Sure, family and how we build our families should be private, but in our culture today, nothing seems private. The truly outrageous question, "How much did you pay for her?" can be an opening to explain that adoption is not about buying or selling children. You can help the person see that adoption is about love, family, sharing, and other positive values, not about money. Maybe even the person has thought about adoption but felt it was too expensive. That obnoxious question opens doors for discussion--even with a stranger--about adoption. I feel that as an adoptive parent I am a pioneer of sorts (though there are plenty of us around), and we blaze a trail for others to follow by helping people understand more about adoption. Resilience is key. We should try not be put off by inappropriate questions. The questioner is articulating what others are thinking. Keep a positive attitude and give a good answer/ explanation. It can help the questioner understand adoption. Sure, family and how we build our families should be private, but in our culture today, nothing seems private.
The truly outrageous question, “How much did you pay for her?” can be an opening to explain that adoption is not about buying or selling children. You can help the person see that adoption is about love, family, sharing, and other positive values, not about money. Maybe even the person has thought about adoption but felt it was too expensive. That obnoxious question opens doors for discussion–even with a stranger–about adoption. I feel that as an adoptive parent I am a pioneer of sorts (though there are plenty of us around), and we blaze a trail for others to follow by helping people understand more about adoption.

]]> By: Cynthia Saslow http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-48 Cynthia Saslow Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:02:06 +0000 http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-48 As an adoptive parent of two children. Adopted at 6 and 7 years old I have to say I am not sure why any of these questions seem difficult or in any way challenging. They are genuine questions many people who have not been involved in International adoption may have. How can we possibly expect people not involved with IA's to be educated in the adoption Lingo of "Bio parent" etc.. You made a choice to adopt a child of a diffrent race. Certainly you knew you would face questions and opinions from other people. Why not use these questions as an opprtunity to educate. Self richeousness is never ever a good attitude. All of this politically correct stuff has caused us to be afraid to say anything to anyone. We are encouraging isolation in our community by making people defensive to ask questions or even five a compliment. Yes, your children are Lucky you adopted them and yes, you are also Lucky to have been able to adopt them. And I hope this is just one of many things they have to feel lucky about. I hope they have this gratitude in their hearts forever as its the only thing that really matters in life. Good luck and maybe lighten up! As an adoptive parent of two children. Adopted at 6 and 7 years old I have to say I am not sure why any of these questions seem difficult or in any way challenging.
They are genuine questions many people who have not been involved in International adoption may have. How can we possibly expect people not involved with IA’s to be educated in the adoption Lingo of “Bio parent” etc..
You made a choice to adopt a child of a diffrent race. Certainly you knew you would face questions and opinions from other people.
Why not use these questions as an opprtunity to educate. Self richeousness is never ever a good attitude.

All of this politically correct stuff has caused us to be afraid to say anything to anyone. We are encouraging isolation in our community by making people defensive to ask questions or even five a compliment.

Yes, your children are Lucky you adopted them and yes, you are also Lucky to have been able to adopt them. And I hope this is just one of many things they have to feel lucky about. I hope they have this gratitude in their hearts forever as its the only thing that really matters in life.

Good luck and maybe lighten up!

]]> By: sk-rt.com http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-23 sk-rt.com Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:14:10 +0000 http://featured.geoparent.com/2008/03/09/adopt-a-resilient-attitude/#comment-23 <strong>Adopt a resilient attitude</strong> Through adoption, you've been gifted a child of another race. Unfortunately, that gift often comes with a price: a litany of inappropriate comments and questions. But with some forethought, you'll be prepared to respond to anything that comes your way. Adopt a resilient attitude

Through adoption, you’ve been gifted a child of another race. Unfortunately, that gift often comes with a price: a litany of inappropriate comments and questions. But with some forethought, you’ll be prepared to respond to anything that comes your way.

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